Requiem

by And Tears Fell

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about

20th Anniversary Memorial Project for Founder Samantha Downing (1967-2005)

Requiem was recorded over a period of 2 years in West Seattle, produced by Brian Chase (Dogfish, Full Life Crisis), and includes musicians who knew and loved Samantha: Mike Berg (Brad, Satchel), Steven Fox (Riots, Ledenhed), and vocalist Muriel Montgomery, a longtime friend of Samantha’s who joined the project to cover what would have been Sam’s vocal duties.

credits

released November 11, 2007

Todd Downing - guitars, vocals, keyboards, percussion;
Mike Berg - bass;
Steven Fox - drums;
Muriel Montgomery - vocals;
Brian Chase - additional guitar, production

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about

And Tears Fell Seattle, Washington

And Tears Fell was an eclectic art-rock recording project founded by Todd & Samantha Downing in the San Francisco Bay Area in 1988. Twenty years, a move to Seattle and five albums later, Todd put the project to bed for good. The REQUIEM album is a tribute to Samantha, who lost her battle with cancer in 2005. ... more

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Track Name: Demons
I hear voices in the night
My head feels like a cannonball
So heavy, and about to explode
The rain beats down relentlessly
So hard to take the pain sometimes
But I'm getting used to being alone

(Bridge)
Running down a road to someplace
Better than I've ever known
Through the doorway and the past is gone
Driving down a road to nowhere
Maybe I'll never grow up
Through the doorway and the future rushes in

(Chorus)
Well it's all laid down in black and white
And yet, people see what they want to see
But it could still turn out alright
For other people like you and me
Days may come and days may go
You never know 'til you reach the end
When I get it figured out
Will I still be able to call you "friend"?

Dreaming of a better time
Watching the ghosts of all my family
Go parading by
If it should come to pass that I should
Ever need to stand and fight the demons
Would you stand by my side?

(Bridge, Chorus)

See them coming closer
Will I ever have the courage
To stand up for myself?
If I should fall before the laughing
Fucked up bastards, will you pick me up
And help me make it through?

(Bridge, Chorus)
Track Name: Chamber of Light
Knocking down the old ideas
Try to find what's right
I could say, "I'm fine, how are you?"
But that would be a lie

Having it all, wanting nothing
What a way to go
Wanting it all, having nothing
I only want to go home

Feelings in the chamber of light
All I know is shadows
I can't tell the day from night
Oh no, not from here

Bringing back my fantasies
Could it be right?
I only wanted solace from you
Could you hold me tight?

Seeing it all, hearing nothing
What a way to go
Hearing it all, seeing nothing
I only want to go home

Feelings in the chamber of light
All I know is shadows
I can't tell the day from night
Oh no, not from here
Track Name: Waiting for the Day
Well I face the morning with the
World on my mind
And I turn on the TV only to find
That I've got no value
Reduced to a talking head
And I ain't got no existence
Just might as well be dead

Well maybe this is all just a dream
And maybe this means nothing to me
And maybe someday I'll find the truth
And maybe it's just that we're all screwed

Waiting for the day to come
Waiting for the day
Waiting for the day to come
Any time now
Any way...

Well I'm not as stupid as you
Say I look
And I can't see reality through the
Haze and smoke
And I look toward my future
Away from my past
And the street prophet says that
Armageddon's coming fast

Well maybe this is all just a dream
And maybe this means nothing to me
And maybe someday I'll find the truth
And maybe it's just that we're all screwed

Waiting for the day to come
Waiting for the day
Waiting for the day to come
Any time now
Any way...

Well the glowing angels
They gather in my room
And all the saints and all the sinners
Warn me of impending doom
And I turn toward the table
And turn on the light
And I blink my eyes and tell myself
It's gonna be a long night

Well maybe this is all just a dream
And maybe this means nothing to me
And maybe someday I'll find the truth
And maybe it's just that we're all screwed

Waiting for the day to come
Waiting for the day
Waiting for the day to come
Any time now
Any way...
Track Name: One More TIme
I can't see the day from here
I can't see the sun from here
I don't want to run away from here

Oh let me out of here
Let me see again
Let me touch your face
Just one more time

Love flies the skies tonight
In the darkest hour
On the wind tonight
Just one more time

I can hear the bells from here
Ringing in the sky from here
Something tells me not to run away from here

Oh let me out of here
Let me see again
Let me touch your face
Just one more time

Love flies the skies tonight
In the darkest hour
On the wind tonight
Just one more time
Track Name: Faith, Maybe
She was talking about how
History was at an end
But she swore to God she'd find
Someone to love again
But the clouds blew away and
Left her sitting all alone
And she cried and her eyes
Shed tears until the light was gone

As we run in circles
Spinning madly round and round
I try to make her see
The happiness I've found
She asks me what to look for
In human nature
I hold her hand and reply
"Faith, maybe..."

She was talking about how
History was at an end
But she swore to God she'd find
Someone to love again
She asks me what to look for
In human nature
I hold her hand and reply
"Faith, maybe..."
"Which one?" she cries, "Faith, or maybe?"
"As we run on down this
Twisted path of life,
Who will save me?"
Track Name: Fire Inside
I never thought you'd run away like that
I always thought we'd be together
I never dreamed that it could hurt so much
I always thought I'd take it better

You always seemed to be on top of the world
I never guessed that you were lying
So now you're gone and living in the city
While I sit here crying

And the light from your eyes
Makes a circle in my mind
And the thoughts run rampant
Make me lose control every time

Baby I know you can give me a smile
Although it's been such a long long time
Come back and hold me just for a while
You're playing with fire inside

I never thought I'd see you here again
I never thought I'd be here either
I guess you want me to apologize
But I'm still waiting for the same from you

And the light from your eyes
Makes a circle in my mind
And the thoughts run rampant
Make me lose control every time

Baby I know you can give me a smile
Although it's been such a long long time
Come back and hold me just for a while
You're playing with fire inside
Track Name: Tapestry
Sitting high above the sea
A ship on the horizon
I see a figure strong and bold
My joy has overcome me

Waiting so long
For you
Waiting so long
For you
Tattered days and shattered lifetimes
So long...

I say a prayer to gods above
And thank the fates that brought you
I weave a spell to call you in
To make you love me forever

Waiting so long
For you
Waiting so long
For you
Your touch, your kiss
So long...

I weave you into my tapestry
I will make you love me
I weave you into my tapestry
So sensually

You won't forget, this is not your home
And you still won't love me
How could I touch a fated soul
And hope that you would not leave me?

Waiting so long
For you
Waiting so long
For you
Your touch, your kiss
So long...

I weave you into my tapestry
I will make you love me
I weave you into my tapestry
So sensually
Track Name: Devil's Lullaby
Please don't ask for consolation
I cannot help you anymore
It seems a hopeless situation
A sad reality

You never asked for my opinion
You never spoke when I was there
You were held by three chameleons
Blowing smoke rings in the air

Hold me, come hold me now
Enfold me in the sky
Let me hear the evening song
The Devil's Lullaby

And should you fall
One winter's day
The angels and devils
Around us surround us
And take your soul away

How many times did I tell you
I could not love you anymore
Now memories compile upon memories
And I find I'm missing you

But you were cold and introspective
And didn't care enough to smile
And on your back, the three chameleons
That kept you naked like a child

Hold me, come hold me now
Enfold me in the sky
Let me hear the evening song
The Devil's Lullaby

And should you fall
One winter's day
The angels and devils
Around us surround us
And take your soul away
Track Name: Nightmares
Looking back in anger
My vision fades to white
A thousand stags and lions
Pass each other in the night

Distant drums and echoes
Are still pounding in my head
But still my conscience tells me
That we should all be dead

Not one of us are jesters
But still we wear the mask
And find our hands are severed
By the blades of our one task

You could have been destruction
You could have held the gun
And rid the population
Of every last one of us

Help me to understand
This gnawing here inside
I'm looking for someone to take my hand
And bring me down
And lead me home again
Would you stay right here beside me?
Would you love me 'til the end?

So many have challenged
So many have lost
We try to save our foolish pride
But what will be the cost?

We terrorize each other
To win the gift of fire
We cave in into our wishes
And every last desire

Help me to understand
This gnawing here inside
I'm looking for someone to take my hand
And bring me down
And lead me home again
Would you stay right here beside me?
Would you love me 'til the end?
Track Name: Spirit Dancer
Lightning strikes a lone explosion
Fire in my mind
I'm hoping these ecstatic visions
Won't strike me blind

But still I wear the hours
My spirit torn inside
Praying nature leaves me with
A modicum of pride

Ancient dreams
Look inside me
Ancient dreams
Walk with me

Staring at the open ocean
Clouds gather above
I'm thinking of a grand illusion
People full of love

But every time I blink my eyes
The tears wash the dream away
I sit and wait for its return
Perhaps another day

Ancient dreams
Look inside me
Ancient dreams
Walk with me

Spirit dancer, dance your dreams
Let it fill your heart
Fill the sky with your cries
Make a brand new start

Spirit dancer, dance your dreams
Let it fill your heart
Tear the sky open wide
Make a brand new start

Rabbit on the southern wind
Coyote in the stones
The sweat pours out of me
And chills me to the bone

Red Road calling
But the city calls me its own
Can I walk a million paths
And ever end up home?

Ancient dreams
Look inside me
Ancient dreams
Walk with me

Spirit dancer, dance your dreams
Let it fill your heart
Fill the sky with your cries
Make a brand new start

Spirit dancer, dance your dreams
Let it fill your heart
Tear the sky open wide
Make a brand new start
Track Name: Sometimes
Sometimes I feel as though
My life could be happier
But I still pray for rain

Sometimes I want to be
Somewhere out of time
Outside myself and my pain

But knowing you are here
And feeling all your love
Lets my heart know
I have somewhere to go
Leaving all behind
The places and the time
When I'm with you
It's magic...

I wish I could go far away
Away from the things that haunt me
These things inside my mind

I only want to run away
When people don't listen to me
I just can't seem to find the time

But knowing I am here
Away from what I love
Let's my heart know
We have somewhere to go
Leaving all behind
The places and the time
When I'm with you
It's magic...

(Mile Marker 38 - spoken word by Caleb Long)

There is a child in everyone's past
Mine was towheaded, sly,
And always up for oatmeal
But until I met her,
There was no child in my future
She was so beautiful to me
All hair, and lips,
And in between, those eyes
And I touched her all the time
To try and pay her back
For that time she touched my life forever

In a bench seat we broke 55
Near Shasta
On the way to all that elsewhere
We had dreamed about back home
In a teenage haze
Underneath pennants and posters
Kicking socked feet
Rolling breathless on an old plaid comforter

And the first time that our city's lights
Bent their brilliant Braille upon our dashboard
A hand was squeezed
But just like the Shot Heard 'Round the World,
This sinew trigger had no name
Just like before,
Someone had to feel it first,
And react

Now when I wake up every morning
Further along the continuum that is my life
The bench seat's all in buckets
And to my brief surprise I'm all alone
I turn my head longingly back
And in my brain's binoculars
She's sitting
Back at Mile Marker 38
Singing to me, "remember..."
"Remember..."

Remember that she and I are, for now,
A then and there,
That she took a flight last year beyond the border
That there the road of life is an infinite kilometer
That you should see it this time of year
The way the leaves turn blue, and purple,
And never die
Track Name: Devil's Lullaby (Acoustic)
See Devil's Lullaby...
Track Name: Good Night My Love
We were children holding hands
Once upon a time
Two satellites in orbit
Around a love sublime

We kissed in darkness, made a pact
And held each other tight
You and me against the world
It all just felt so right

(Good night my love)
All you were to me
(Good night my love)
Is etched into my memory
(Good night my love)
And everything that was
(Good night my love)
Will always be inside of me

Your presence, it still lingers here
From night until the day
Your image smiling, voice in song
A ghostly cabaret
Lonely tears I've shed for you
I reach out for your touch
And take with me the memory
Of times I've loved so much

(Good night my love)
All you were to me
(Good night my love)
Is etched into my memory
(Good night my love)
And everything that was
(Good night my love)
Will always be inside of me

Waking alone and gripped by hollow fear
All that I know is reduced to a blur of tears
Time wasn't on your side and I wonder
How I got here
So good night my dear

One day we might meet each other
Passing in the night
Until then I'll draw the curtains
And put out the light

If you stop along your journey
Think of me sometime
Remember that brief, shining moment
That we called a life

(Good night my love)
All you were to me
(Good night my love)
Is etched into my memory
(Good night my love)
And everything that was
(Good night my love)
Will always be inside of me